Pots and Kettles
by Phinea
Summary: The Marauders are very close ... close enough to make jokes like this. Rated for the humor.


Disclaimer – almost nothing is mine, it all belongs to this nice British lady named J.K. Rowling. I'm just peering into the dustier corners of her universe.  
  
Author's Note – how I love to write those words! Because that implies  
that I am (drumroll please) an AUTHOR. Just wanted to shamelessly  
humiliate myself in begging for reviews. I'll do anything, even if  
you criticize everything here I'll do anything. Just pointing out  
that Cambri belongs to my friend. Marsha is mine.  
  
Now, you won't understand this until I say that Cambri is Sirius' wife  
(long story; for more on her, read my story "Remember") and Marsha is  
Remus' fiancee and the mother of his daughter Ellen. I think that's  
all you need to know. God, this was fun to write. And before anyone  
asks, no, of course they aren't, they wouldn't discuss it if they  
were.  
  
Pots and Kettles  
  
"We were close, very close. We never did anything disgusting, but we were very close."  
–James McLure, Wild Oats  
  
Lily and James both burst in the door, windblown from the late-summer night. They didn't need to knock. Lily had a sleepy Harry propped on her shoulder. "We're in here," Sirius' voice called from the kitchen.  
The Potters entered to find Remus and Marsha already at the table. On top of the table sat Farren Lockthorne Black, ten months old and already developing his father's fiendish expression of mischief. He was trying to get hold of Marsha's bright hair, but she kept it cut too short. Cambri was searching through the cabinets, and Sirius was pouring drinks. He hastily abondoned this activity and went to pluck Harry from Lily's arms. "How are you this evening, Harry?" Sirius asked, lifting the eight-month- old above his head. Harry cooed delightedly. "And what's your poison?"  
"Sirius," Lily remonstrated, pulling off her sweater and joining Marsha at the table. Marsha smiled at her. Farren promptly reached for her long auburn hair, and she warded him off without appearing to have to think about it.  
Sirius looked wounded. "What are you trying to say?"  
Cambri rose with a clatter, triumphantly clutching a battered china teapot. "I told you we had a bigger one somewhere," said Sirius.  
"I never said we didn't," said Cambri, filling the pot with water and heating it with her wand. "Earl Grey, Remus?"  
"Of course," said Remus, as though offended that she had to ask. "What for you, Marsha?"  
"What are my options?" asked Marsha.  
Cambri looked. "Earl Grey and mint."  
"Mint, then," said Marsha.  
Cambri started measuring leaves into the teacups and took them to the table. Sirius plopped Harry on the table, where he and Farren looked mistrustfully at one another, and took a chair. James swung his chair around so the back faced the table, and straddled it with his arms resting on the back. He started talking in a low voice to Farren, who giggled and abandoned his efforts to capture Lily's hair.  
"Cambri," said Sirius. "He's corrupting our son here."  
"Our son?" said Cambri.  
"Yes, our son, we have a son, you ought to know that as you were present at the time ..." He trailed off, realizing that Cambri had emphasized the first word. "What are you trying to say?"  
"I'm not saying anything," Cambri said sweetly, smiling at Remus. "We agreed." Remus looked very startled.  
Sirius looked pleadingly at Marsha. "Remus and I," Marsha said calmly, "have an understanding." Sirius turned around in time to see James tip a wink at Marsha. He was still focusing on Cambri, not quite convinced. Cambri smiled and patted his hand.  
"Why?" Sirius begged her.  
"Remus is way better in bed," said Cambri with a perfectly straight face.  
"I'm not sure I agree," said Lily.  
"Well, he's better than Sirius, anyway," said Marsha, looking at James significantly.  
Sirius looked as though something had just collapsed on top of his head. "Remus," he said, "Are you really sleeping with my wife?"  
"Oh, don't feel special," Remus said briskly. "So is James."  
James grinned at Sirius. "In case you hadn't noticed," he said, "Farren has my eyes."  
"You know," Lily said mischievously, "Harry acts like Sirius sometimes. I begin to wonder."  
"I thought we'd figured that Harry's mine," said Remus, looking hurt.  
"Oh, come on," said Lily. "Where'd he get black hair, then?"  
Everyone was quiet for a while, then Sirius finally spoke up, in a soft and tremulous voice. "Remus," he said. "I thought what we had was special."  
Lily hastily forestalled that. "Okay, that's enough," she said. "I'm sure you can find other ways to contribute to the delinquency of my son."  
Once again there was silence, then Sirius gave a small sob, and rushed out of the room.  
Cambri sighed and rose. "I'll go console him," she said.  
"No, no," said James, rising. "Let me do it." He left the room following Sirius.  
  
Terminus Quod Orsa 


End file.
